Playing The Bad Boy Card

Strategy: Acting tough and with a streak of douchebaggery to impress a girl

Category: Behaviour adaptation strategy

Our opinion: Not recommended unless you're confident you can pull it off

It's a universal truth: girls love a bad boy. What is important to distinguish is the difference between a bad boy (say Will Smith or the Fonz), a bad guy (like Lex Luthor or The Joker) and a bad person (like George Costanza).

Note that bad boys are categorised by atittude and style. Their seeming indifference is the key to their appeal.

Bad guys, however, usually have some form of unique and unattractive appearance and plans to take over the world (though thankfully they are almost always thwarted by men in tights and capes).

A bad person is someone with low social and moral value. The example here is lazy and self-centred. This is not the impression you want to give to girls you have just met.

If you're trying to act like a bad boy to impress girls you're going to want them to believe you don't care, that you're in control of your feelings (maybe even get them to question that you have any), that you've been in fights and won and that you have strong convictions. This will be desirable traits. What you don't want to do is be overly chauvinistic or arrogant. These are off-putting. Don't overdo the attitude either.

For example: saying "Get me a beer, bitch" to a girl you've just met is going WAY too far. Also if you ask her a question, don't say "I don't care" after she finishes answering.

You'll have to walk a thin line to get this one right, but we're sure it is possible. If in doubt, think "What would Will Smith do?"

Cookies

Strategy: Starting a conversation with girls by offering them cookies

Category: Might work

Our opinion: Worth a try

This is a fairly specific strategy but if all the elements somehow align it could prove successful. This is the scenario: You have checked into a hostel or some other form of co-ed dormitory accommodation and you've noticed that there are attractive girls in the room that you want to start a conversation with. Unfortunately for you, you've got nothing interesting to say. Luckily for you, however, it is evening and you're hungry so what you do is go out for a meal, specifically Subway.

At Subway: Buy your sandwich and when asked if there is anything else you buy several cookies. (N.B You must buy more cookies than there are girls. If n is the number of girls, then an appropriate equation might be n + 2, though as a general rule buying 6 cookies is a good option).

Now, you're thinking, "why the cookies? and why so many?" The cookies are the key to starting your conversation. After finishing your meal, take the cookies back to the hostel where the girls are still hopefully hanging around. The reason you bought more cookies than there are girls is so that the girls don't think you bought the cookies for them. If they thought this it would all be over as your desperation would be evident.

Offering the cookies: Hold the bag of cookies loosely in one hand and offer them each a cookie casually (but let them reach into the bag for the cookie). Nonchalance is the key here but like the use of the word it can easily be overdone so be careful. We suggest some form of white lie about the store closing so they offered an end of day discount deal which explains why you have so many. Here you can run into problems as the girls might turn their noses up at the thought of day-old cookies and here you again have to casualy reassure them that they are still good without panicking.

In an ideal world the girls will accept the cookies that you offer, thereby making a psychological connection in their minds that you have something to offer that they want. You will have demonstrated kindness, consideration and generosity while hiding your loneliness and over-eagerness. So far so good.

One problem can arise if you try and use bits of the cookies to make funny faces by holding them up to your ears, eyes, nose, chin or moustache. At no time do you want crumbs or chcolate on your face! Also, DO NOT poke a hole in the cookie and put your tongue through and attempt to adopt a funny voice. Bad idea.

Recommended cookie: Subway makes excellent cookies that are relatively cheap. The softness of their cookies is a huge asset. Available worldwide.

Recommended flavour: Choc-chip. This is a flavour that is plain enough to appeal to the masses, but also interesting enough to not be refused because of blandness. A high percentage flavour.